The Fight
by rosesaregreen
Summary: "Your name is Katniss Mellark and it is staying that way, dammit! Try anything like that again and I will shoot you right through the eye and I mean it, Katniss!" Katniss suggests the unthinkable and Peeta must take drastic measures to make her understand how wrong she is. Oneshot. Hope Blooms in the Spring universe.


_**A/N: A little onesie I wrote based on a moment of Chapter 4 of HBITS that I thought was interesting. I loved the idea of Peeta taking the "Katniss Approach" to making her understand where he stands on their relationship. Hope y'all like! (: feel free to leave thoughts!**_

* * *

"Come on, Ez. I know you can say it. Say it. Pee-tah. Pee-tah." A pair of wide steel eyes looked back at him in wonder, sucking on his fingers happily.

"Tah-Tah!" He coos back. Peeta laughed heartily and kissed the young boys head.

"I guess that's progress, aye little buddy?"

"Peeta, don't patronize my kid." Johanna was standing in the doorway of the sliding glass that leads to the deck. The party was all inside laughing and eating while Peeta managed to escape with the birthday boy to their favorite view of the sea.

"I am not patronizing. Just trying to get him to say my name! I know he can do it. Can't you, lil man?" Erez simply snuggled into Peeta's chest and sighed. Peeta can feel his heart constricting and pulling in all possible directions at the proximity of the child. He was perfect; those grey Seam eyes so similar to the woman of his life that he had to do double takes sometimes to remind himself who's child he was.

"Looks like the birthday boy is all partied out." Johanna walked over and took her son into her arms, the calm smirk on her lips of having him near taking its place on her face. Erez wrapped his arms around her neck tightly as if she was his life force. "You turn two and just lose all the energy, aye love? Fine by me. Your wife is looking for you, by the way. She's got that separation anxiety face on." He nods.

"I'll be there in a minute."

"Hey." He looked at his friend, her face taking a more pitiful look. "A kid looks good on you. Don't give up." Her words swirled around him as she left him to his thoughts. How could he give up on an idea that was never truly real? There was no denying a child was something he had wanted for as long as the knowledge that he could one day be to someone what his own father was to him became known. When he first set his eyes on Katniss, he knew that he would only want children if they had her blood in their veins. There was never another thought in his mind on the subject, and it would be that way or nothing at all. Katniss was stubborn, so stubborn that it seemed to physically hurt her to change in just the slightest, but he adored that about her. She grounded him with her continuity when he often had a tendency to fly away in his fantasies. Somewhere deep in his heart, he knew that she wanted children, simply from the way that he saw her raise Prim, the maternal desire was ingrained in her spirit. But he would never force her or beg her for them; she had to need them as badly as he did. Peeta refused to bring his child into a world that resembled his own; a mother filled with resentment and disapproval and a father who was unable to defend his own.

He went back inside where everyone was gathered in the living room, spirits and cake being passed around along with hearty conversation. Ty was running around trying to steal the attention from the boy of the hour, who was now sitting in Katniss' lap, nearly asleep. Peeta watched her from the kitchen as the boy had his head comfortably nuzzled into her neck, eyes fluttering shut as she hummed and rocked him. Her fingers were running through his straight brown locks, the content smile on her face making her look radiant. It was in these candid moments that Peeta had to pinch himself to remember that this was a scenario that could not happen for them.

He walked into the room and sat next to his wife on the couch. When she noticed him it seemed like she almost forgot that she was missing him.

"There you are! I was getting worried."

"Worried?"

"I dunno. Thought you might have found a clue and ran off."

"Impossible. I have everything I need right here." He ruffled the hair on Erez's head and smiled at Katniss. She was eyeing him suspiciously.

"Peeta, don't."

"Don't what?" That familiar look she always gave him when she thought he was being impossible crossed her face.

"You know I can't…I…Peeta, don't—"

"Katniss, I didn't say anything. Let's just enjoy the party, ok?" She continued to look at him _that_ way and he knew that this wasn't ending any time soon. These days, Katniss was feeling inadequate because of her refusal to have kids. With Erez being around and Delly being pregnant with her second child, she was feeling trapped by those evolving around her. No matter how many times Peeta reminded her that he was completely _fine_, she refused to believe him. She spent more days chained to the bed than usual, more time resisting his touch and affection. Peeta was accustomed to her momentary disbelief in his love for her, it always came at least once a year, but this time seemed different. This era was taking root deep within her and refusing to die away.

His eyes shifted to the now sleeping toddler resting on the chest of his wife and he took a deep breath to push away the deafening want banging inside his chest. He pulled Katniss to him and kissed her head.

* * *

The calming sounds of the waves crashing to the shore granted an indefinable peace to Peeta. The sun was at the corner of the sky, the bright orange that he loved so deeply touching the sea and the few scattered clouds. He dug his toes deeper into the sand and released a contented sigh. He loved coming to Four and being near the water. This district always provided them with a strange happiness, even during the Victory Tour and all the stress of those tumultuous years. Something about the soft smiles and lingering scent of salt that made this place feel so welcoming.

The sounds of footsteps entered his ears. Katniss was only loud when she wanted her impending presence to be known, and it was never a good thing when she wanted to be heard. The huntress had something on her mind, and he knew it had to do with what happened at Erez's birthday the other night. She sat next to him in the sand and looked on at the sunset. He was afraid to speak, but the still silence seemed much worse.

"I'll never get over that sunset. It's the most beautiful thing." She was still focused on the sky, the slight darkness trailing the sun becoming known. She suddenly turned her body to him.

"I want you to leave." Her voice was so quiet that he nearly missed it. When the words encoded themselves into his brain, his body went rigid.

"_What_?"

"You deserve better, Peeta. Someone who is nicer than me and someone who can love you the way you deserve to be loved! Someone prettier than me; someone who doesn't come home filthy and smelling like the woods and who is as selfish as I am." She took a deep breath and cleared her throat. He could see the hint of tears in her eyes. "Someone who can give you the kids you deserve and someone who can raise your kids and be stable and normal and make you _happy_. I can't do any of that, Peeta. You don't deserve to spend your life with someone who just uses you like I do. You make me so happy, Peeta, but there is no way that I make you feel the way you make _me_ feel. You give me everything and I just take everything from you. So, for the first time in my life I'm doing something unselfish. I'm letting you go. I think it would be best if you left."

She was staring at his face, trying to read him. He tuned her out after _"you deserve better"_. The anger was boiling so intensely inside him that the world was beginning to tint red. He was losing his grip on what was real and what was not, because _his_ Katniss would never say such crazy things. _His_ Katniss knew how much she meant to him; that she was the only reason he was still alive and somewhat stable and _happy_. No, Katniss would never say something so stupid to him.

"Peeta? Say something." But she did. She did say that to him. Peeta rose to his feet and walked away, not uttering a word. His fist were dripping with sweat from the constant clenching and unclenching. His head was pounding and when the sidewalk took on a sudden glimmering tint, he felt himself chuckle. When he made it into the house, he locked the bedroom door and watched himself in the mirror. He looked mad; his hair tousled and eyes bloodshot, hands shaking uncontrollably. How _dare_ she say that him? How could Katniss even fathom the idea of him being with someone else? Is that what she thinks about at night? When she lays awake, does she make a running list in her head of all the eligible women in town who would be an adequate replacement for her? Does she even _love_ him? How could she when she tried to get rid of him every chance she got? She was a liar. A filthy mutt face lying—

He shook his head violently and screamed. The glimmer wouldn't leave his vision, and reality was so far away. The thoughts were surrounding him, driving him mad. He managed to hurl himself onto the couch and curl into a ball and scream until the episode ended. When the darkness lost its shine and he lay there spent, her words began to churn again.

_"You deserve someone who can raise your kids. I'm letting you go." _How was it possible that after all these years she still did not understand? All they had been through and talked about and shared? All the love they had exchanged? The smiles? The reassuring embraces and whispers of hope? What was it going to take to make that woman understand that there is no life without her? When would she realize the effect she has?

* * *

At breakfast the next day Peeta went on as if life was normal. Katniss hadn't come to the main house yet, so it was just he and her mother. She sent soft smiles his way, the joy of having company evident in brightness of her eyes. They ate in silence, but a comfortable one. She had been more of a mother to Peeta in these last years than his own had been to him his entire childhood. Her soft touches and warm glances meant more to him than she could ever know. Katniss would never admit it, but he could see so much of her mother in her: The silent grace and calm demeanor and infallible ability to make things _ok_. He never met her father, but he had no doubt that she was the best representation of the both of her parents. Unwillingly, his mind shifted to what qualities their child would inherit if he were allowed to exist. Would he be feisty and stubborn like his mother or good natured and forgiving like his father? A beautiful balance of both? I guess they would never know.

The door to the kitchen opened and Katniss stood in the doorway silently for a moment. She never came to bed last night and when they made eye contact, he couldn't hold her gaze, all the rage and confusion from last night rushing back to him.

"Excuse me." He said quietly as he rose from the table, grabbing his plate and placing it in the sink before rushing out the screen doors to the deck. He walked along the beach for what seemed like hours, trying desperately to make sense of why his life was crashing around him. None of this made sense! He was breathing deeply and trying to concentrate on the sounds of the waves, but he could feel his sanity ripping at the seams. It was rare that Peeta was ever angry: only when he couldn't get a design on an order just right or when he would have a major relapse into episodes. Katniss was always his anchor, the one thing that held him into this world. It was dizzying to have her as his enemy again; an era of his life he thought was eradicated for good. It just frustrated him to no end how clueless she could be when she wanted! If she wanted him to leave for an actual reason, he would be gone in a heartbeat. If she stopped feeling safe around him or if she was no longer happy or…if she finally realized that she could do better and no longer loved him. But it was none of that! She still felt safe in his arms and was at her happiest when with him. She still loved him with that undying devotion that only Katniss Everdeen could give.

Somehow the entire day had passed him by, the sun back to that private corner of the sky and tinting the world a soft peach. A sense of clarity came over him. He had to respond to her the way she would to him if he ever did something as foolish as this. Peeta jumped to his feet and quickly walked back to the guesthouse. He could see her leaning on the railing of deck, watching him. Knowing her, she hasn't moved from that spot all day and that comforted him. When he marched up the steps and approached her, he could see her mouth opening to speak, but he stopped her immediately.

"Your name is Katniss Mellark and it is _staying_ that way, dammit! Try anything like that again and I will shoot you right through the eye and I _mean _it, Katniss!" He stormed into the house, sliding the screen door shut with a thud. He couldn't help but feel pride in his chest at the burst of anger he just exerted. It was all nonsense since he could barely kill a fly, but it still felt _good_. He would probably pay for it later, but it was all worth it right now.

* * *

Peeta was sitting on the bed twiddling his thumbs that night, wondering if his tactic had worked. He never exerted his anger _at_ Katniss, and now he was wondering if he had done the right thing.

"You probably drove her farther away. You idiot!"

The door opened and Katniss came to sit next to him on the bed. She inspected his face intensely, almost as if she was trying to place his features onto something else. Finally, she placed her hand on his cheek gently and sighed.

"Peeta—"

"Do you love me?"

"What? What kind of question is that?"

"A serious one. Do you love me?"

"Peeta, you know—"

"That is not an answer! Answer the question! Do you love me?"

"You already—"

"Do. You. Love. Me?" She sensed the seriousness of the situation and sighed deeply. It was still hard for her to be completely vulnerable after all these years and he understood it, but this was one of those moments when they had to reaffirm their entire relationship.

"Yes. I love you."

"Do you want me?"

"Seriously—"

"_Do you want me_?"

"Yes!"

"Do you feel safe with me?" Her eyes softened and she took his hand.

"Always."

"Then that is all that fucking matters! Nothing else matters but those few answers."

"But what about _you_?"

"Everything I need is right in front of me. You think you know everything about me and everything I need and what is best for me yet refuse to understand that you are _everything_. You are my world, Katniss. I don't know how many more ways I can say it."

"I guess…it just doesn't make sense sometimes. There is so much you want and I refuse it and I'm supposed to believe that you're happy?"

"I _am_ happy! Every morning when I wake up and see you and when I walk back through that door and see you, it's like the perfect sunset. Nothing else could ever bring me the joy that you do. _Nothing_." He wiped the tears that were sliding down her cheeks and he could see his words settling. Maybe he was getting through to her this time.

"I want to give you the world, just like you give me. But I don't know how. I don't think I can."

"You already have. Honey, there is nothing else to be done."

"But there is." She kissed him softly, but all her pain and fear seeped through her lips. This was a fight that would never end.


End file.
